Lecture 10: The Eight Deadly Sins (Part 2)

Course: Spiritual Life of the Leader

Lecture 10: The Eight Deadly Sins (Part 2)

When you experience a difficult situation, how do you begin to turn your focus away from the negative and on to what God is doing? How do you respond when you are working closely with people that don't like you? What do you do as a leader when there is a person that is angry with you and disagrees with how you are leading?

A. When you experience a difficult situation, how do you begin to turn your focus away from the negative and on to what God is doing?

We are not finished with tristitia with this unusual sadness. I wanted to stop so that people could ask more about this topic.

When you were talking about the burning tires off in a distant and not seeing the horizon with only focusing on the little. We are supposed to put that off and put on other things. The practical, when you are in the middle of it, you can’t just say stop it. So, how do you start the putting off and the putting on?

We don’t deny that we get broadsided; in order words, we get surprised by something and especially when it isn’t very good. We will do a whole lecture on crises and how that impacts us and how we move through that. You can neither deny that when the body or soul is severely injured, your spirit is really hurting. That takes their own horizon. I have been at a point of physical injury and how can you do anything else. We don’t want to deny reality and when you are in a time of suffering, you don’t want to be confused. I had two bright students, a man and his wife toward the end of their education in Seminary. They were working in a large congregation at the time. One of their parents died; they went to the funeral that week and after a few days, they returned to the church that day. Their pastor expected them to preach. Their boss, the pastor came up to them and said that he was counted on them to put on the joy of the Lord. ‘What do you think’, they ask me? ‘I think you need to turn in your letter or resignation right now because you are working in a false system.’ When our brother or sister is hurting, it is our job not to tell them to be quiet. All that says is that we can’t cope with it. What I am attacking and what the early church was attacking; when it turns into a way of living where all I see is what is wrong, it is time to do something. We will consider different ways out through such a crisis later in the course. Part of it, you go through the water of suffering and through the valley of the shadow of death; sometimes this takes several years if not a lot of years.

B. How do you respond when you are working closely with people that don't like you?

This has been deeply helpful for me. Sometimes in ministry there are people that just don’t like you and you just don’t understand why. Something has happened and you are not going to figure it out until you get to glory. You try to forgive each other and move on; there are just some people who don’t like me and some of them are still involved in ministry closely with me. I’m trying to understand out to deal with that. Is there a time to disassociate or do you just bear through it. This is probably not a very question.

I need help to answer this so you need to pray for me here. There are times in ministry where I have to dismiss people; I have never been in a pastoral setting where I didn’t have to dismiss people. One of those times literally put me in the hospital. You simply cannot allow a dissident voice to bring the ministry to a grinding stop. There were times when I would bring people in and they were spitting nails because of their anger. I am talking about staff here; when I was a lead pastor; there were times when people of the congregation would come in and be also very angry at me. I tried to explain that I had a calling with the leaders of the church in agreement with that calling. You obviously have a different calling for yourself, so perhaps; maybe, this is the time for you to seek another church. Sometimes people would be honest and thus decide to leave. So, at that point you just bless people and let them go. You don’t try and forcefully hold anybody. Now, what about a staff member and you are not the boss? And you are really angry with the boss. This is a very real issue for many. You have to make decisions; is there basic moral integrity in your boss? Is he under spiritual authority or are they crossing lines that shouldn’t be crossed. If that is the case, then you need to get out. If it isn’t the case, then the word of the church historically has been to hold your ground. What did Paul say? Stand, let the Lord do his work. You have come to the church or ministry so that everyone can be a part of your molding in Christ. You see that there are not a lot of easy answers here.

C. What do you do as a leader when there is a person that is angry with you and disagrees with how you are leading?

Well, I have experienced that multiple times. I have never been in a setting where someone didn’t come unraveled with what I was doing. And there were even times in a teaching ministry where I will have a student to come completely unraveled with what I am saying. I have got to ask God for grace asking if there is any measure of truth in what this person is saying. People can get as ‘mad as a hen.’ I have had chickens to attack me while feeding them. These people are usually full of exaggeration in what they say. And normally what they say, ‘you are destroying this church.’ How many times have I been told that! The question you must consider, ‘is there any truth in that?’ And ‘do I need to ask for forgiveness from them in some way?’ When that is followed through being truly humble before God and they continue on, then I have done all I can do. There have been times when people of the congregation have had to intervene for me. Sometimes you have to let your elders to take care of it. These are real issues in a divided culture and a divided society. One of the greatest tools of the devil today is where somebody gets outraged. They have been wounded in some way and they want to vent their hurt in every way they can. How do you stand against that and do you do so without being hooked in doing the same thing? The moment you are hooked and start with the same attitude back at them; Satan has established a perfect playhouse. Everybody loses then. Paul tells us to stand and part of what I had to learn, I will stand even when my integrity is being trashed. Why? Jesus has my back! I don’t have to prove anything. I know that I am a sinner and that I have made mistakes. But I am God’s person and I can stand in that. He is going to sort that out in the end; he is going to take care of all of that. But, I can stand. And perhaps God is calling a person to be in leadership in another place. I will do it the way Jesus would do it. I will be firm and call things as I see them.